2014 for me will be one filled with random acts of kindness and fun times with an aim of touching lives here in the UK and also in South Africa. Every day I'm told I can't change the world, my answer is always the same, I can make a difference to the individual lives I touch, after all we all live on the same planet. As a trustee of www.cocosfoundation.co.uk I have seen countless individuals selflessly raising money to help those less fortunate in South Africa. Now it's my turn. I intend to raise £3500 to build a house in South Africa in memory of my dear brother and £600 to fund a psycho-social support workshop weekend for social workers supporting hundreds of orphaned children. To name a few this helps bring hope to their lives, dreams for the future, builds self esteem and helps deal with bereavement. My dream would be to also fund an after school club looking after at least 200 orphaned children a day at a cost of £3000 for the year. I firmly believe every child has the right of support, love and nurture along with basic needs such as a safe place to live, food and water, something we take for granted in the UK.

Death of a loved one is something that will affect us all and sometimes unexpectedly. It was my first experience and it tore my world apart. I've had to accept it but I don't forget. My family is the most precious and valuable thing in my life.

I believe the challenges that are put before us are lessons that we can choose to learn from or not, you should never judge a person until you have walked in their shoes.

My little brother Adam died age 24. We were a close family. Ad was one of four children with fiery red hair. A perfectionist, the most gentle, fun and handsome young man with a bright future ahead, until the day he died.

I loved him with all my heart and I miss him with all my heart. I wonder if he saw the chapel with people crammed out the doors, did he realise the positive impact he had on the world around him, I wish he could have seen that the sky would have turned blue again. It blew our world apart. Our family has survived in its own way, but it has never been the same. We lost a part of our heart. I live with guilt and regret but you can't do anything positive with an "if only".

It came to me so clearly as Chris and I walked away from the finished house builds in Africa May 2013, tears in our eyes at what we had achieved and the difference it made to these young orphaned children's lives. I knew what I had to do.

My brother was working his way up the ladder for Longleys Builders before he died; here I was building houses in Africa for orphaned children in crisis. It was a time of crisis for my family and I couldn't help him, but I can tell the world who he was and I can leave a mark in his name.

There is nothing to mark Ads life, no head stone or memorial, only our memories. To "celebrate" my 50th, June 2014 I decided to raise the funds to build a house in Ads memory.... That is all I knew until I saw a family whose parents had died, leaving six children alone. Ironically  the eldest son also took his life, I can only imagine life became too much for him, his sky was black. It cuts my heart to think about it. The other 6 children are now separated and scattered around the local area, their house has since fallen down. Ironically the eldest of the remaining children is 18years old, the age of my youngest son.

I couldn't help Ad or that young man but I can help bring a family back together with a little help from amazing people like you. We all live on the same planet and I believe if we all do something small, collectively it will turn into something big.

Together we can turn that "if only" into something positive.