We had a beautiful baby boy September 11th 2009 and we named him Finlay (Finn). He was born far too early - 25+5 weeks and he was born far too small - just 1LB. Finn thrived for the first five days that he was alive, and having had a tiny preemie before ( 1lb 130z) and my daughter having just celebrated her 10th Birthday we had every faith that Finn would go from strength to strength. Little did we know that our faith was misplaced, little did we know that our precious baby boy was going to leave us with broken hearts forever more.. Finn contracted a skin infection, a gut infection and as a result he then had low blood pressure. This in turn left his left kidney failing. We had to watch our newborn son have platelet trasfusions, plasma transfusions, blood transfusions every day, sometimes twice a day. We had to watch nurses struggle to find veins so that they could put canulars into him. We watched as veins burst, his body became swollen and his skin cracked under the intense pressure his tiny little bod was under. But still, Finn gripped our fingers, he crinkled his nose as we stroked his face .. He turned his head towards us when we spoke to him telling him how much we loved him. Finn started to have seizures and he was getting weaker with every one. Our little man fought so hard for ten whole days But we had to make the god awful decision to turn his ventilator off when we saw that it was all just too much for him. Finn fell to sleep in my arms and as a Mummy, that moment when my little baby boy was wriggling in my arms, and then not is the most horrific moment in my life, my heart left me there and then and I knew that I would never ever be the same person again.
Finn fell to sleep on the 21st September 2009 at 17:15. I carried Finn the hour and a half journey back from the hospital in our car so that we could show him his crib, his home and where his family would always be for him, we needed to bring our son home even if it was to be the first and last time.
We then had to register Finn's birth and death in the same day ..... the most gutwrenching "formality" .. when registering the birth of your baby should be the most joyful thing in the world. We buried Finn on the 1st October, and even to this day the whole day is a complete blur ... I just wanted to be with my baby, to know that he was ok .. to give him one last cuddle, one last kiss, and to tell him that I loved him with all of my heart. It is never right to bury your baby ... there can be no justification for it whatsoever.
Our little man fought so hard to live and we were able to spend those ten days with him because he was looked after in a BLISS funded room.

Please help us to prove that our son didn't die in vain, that he was sent to us for a purpose.
The pain of losing a baby is so deep, so severe, so deep rooted, so destroying ... please help us to make a change, to make it different for another family.
please donate, or offer your support in any way that you can.
Lots of love,
Claire & Mike and Finn's brother and sisters. xxxx

 

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