Thanks for taking the time to visit my JustGiving page.

It is with great sadness that we find ourselves here, remembering our darling little boy, Joshua, who was born sleeping on the 21st January 2013.

Dave and I were delighted to discover I was pregnant in May 2012 and my due date was confirmed as the 27th January 2013.  All went relatively well and we were over the moon to find out we were having a boy at the 20 week scan.  Joshua's two big sisters Katie (13) and Holly (7) were so excited and were planning to spoil him rotten.

We were in the home stretch at 38 weeks when I became worried that I hadn't felt Joshua move.  Our worst fears were confirmed by the hospital, his little heart had stopped beating on the 14th January.  We don't know why and are currently waiting to hear the results of various tests.

I spent 8 days on the labour ward at Pinderfields hospital.  As Joshua was in a transverse position (he had been lying across me instead of head down since about 28 weeks) it proved difficult to induce labour and after a week of trying, he was eventually delivered via C section.  As you can imagine this was an extremely traumatic experience and one which I believe could have been improved had the hospital had dedicated facilities, designed to meet the needs of families in our circumstances. 

Firstly there should be a specific room which has been sympathetically decorated and furnished.  This room should be primarily used for patients who have suffered a late miscarriage or intrauterine death and should be in as quiet an area as possible.  It should also have a dedicated telephone line for patient use and a TV, neither of which are currently available.  Mobile signal is a real problem at Pinderfields and I spent the majority of my stay in near isolation, with no means of contacting my family or friends.  We eventually found out that the trust has wifi and I was then able to email and send texts to other iphone users.  However, access to a telephone is a basic necessity and would have enabled me to speak to my family regularly.  A TV would have provided some form of distraction from the horrific reality of what we were going through and a sofa and tea/coffee making facilities would have also given the room a more homely feel.  Ideally there should also be a bed for partners to stay over in the room.

 

Additionally I would like to purchase a good stock of the information/advice leaflets available from SANDS, none of which were given to me during my stay.  These would have guided us through the many difficult decisions we had to make whilst I was in hospital.

 

I was able to keep Joshua with me for 24 hours following his birth, but a cold cot would have allowed me to have spent longer with my son.  It would also have provided the opportunity for other family members and close friends to have met him.  I would dearly love to enable other families to spend longer with their precious children, thanks to Joshua.

 

My aim is to initially raise between £2,000 and £3,000 to help provide the above at Pinderfields Hospital.  As all Consultant led care in the area is due to be moved to Pinderfields, I believe demand for this room will sadly increase.  The Department of Health recently acknowledged the need to improve Maternity services nationally and a number of hospitals have been awarded funds to specifically create bereavement suites and both Leeds and Barnsley have been chosen for this initiative.  I know that Jimmy’s already has such facilities, as the Snowdrop Suite there was initially set up by a former work colleague of mine, who sadly lost her son in similar circumstances almost 20 years ago.  With the imminent expansion of the Maternity Unit at Pinderfields, the time is now right to address this shortfall in facilities.

 

All of the staff looked after us well on the Maternity Ward, however, one Midwife in particular was exceptional and went over and above to help us on numerous occasions.  I will be eternally grateful to her for the tender care she showed Joshua when he was born and I am so pleased that she was there to look after him when I was unable to, immediately following my operation.  She gave him his first special cuddle and bathed and dressed him.  These are things that I was aching to do, but I am comforted by the fact she was there for him and she will always have a special place in my heart for that.  I would like to invite her to provide a Midwife's perspective on my plans so that she can have an input on how best to spend the funds we raise.

 

We are holding Joshua's funeral on Friday 22nd February when close family and friends will gather to say goodbye to our beautiful little boy. 

 

Thank you for reading our story and I hope you will have been moved to donate to a very worthy cause.  Stillbirth is such a taboo subject, no one wants to think or talk about it, but the reality is that whilst the incidence of SIDS has thankfully been reduced significantly over the last 20 or so years, the stillbirth rate has remained unaltered.  It would be a wonderful legacy to Joshua if a dedicated suite could be provided for families suffering the sudden loss of their unborn children and I hope it will help to ease the pain they are suffering.

 

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