The Birth Trauma Association (BTA) was established in 2004 to support women suffering from Post Natal Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) or birth trauma. They support women who have suffered difficult births and aim to offer advice and support to all women who are finding it hard to cope with their childbirth experience.

The BTA is the only organisation in the UK which deals solely and specifically with this issue. Their work is focused on three main areas:

(1) Raising awareness of birth trauma
(2) Working to prevent it
(3) Supporting families in need

It concerns me that women are not warned about the effect that birth may have on their bodies, the damage it may do, the lack of control during the birthing process and the feeling of violation (and even failure) that results when things don't go to plan.

Other than fleeting references to 'baby blues' and possible Post-Natal Depression (PND), birth trauma wasn't a topic that I was exposed to during my pregnancy. Like most expectant mothers, I was expecting a straightforward birth.  

I was unprepared for the shock of birth, the feeling of helplessness, the degree of pain, the unexpected and lengthy recovery time and the fear that I would never recover in full. It took weeks to bond with my child and to accept the sacrifices and changes that his life brought to mine. I felt guilty that early motherhood was not the joyful experience I had been led to believe it would, or should, be. Even now, 10 months on, it pains me to reflect on the weeks that immediately followed his birth.

If there is even the smallest possibility of helping someone else who has suffered during and after childbirth, I'd like to do that.

Cutting my hair might seem trivial, and perhaps one day I will run a marathon or perform some other tremendous athletic feat for the BTA, but until I feel sure that my pelvic floor won't drop into my shoe, I'll stick with the razor.

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