**** UPDATE ****

The choice between two mankinis happened and the results were at best embarrassing! First there was the traditional Borat design that did nothing to hide anything and one wrong step meant that not only my feet would burn. It really wasn’t going to happen in this thing!. The second was chosen online from Amazon and looked far more respectful. Even though it was skin tight latex it definitely looked like it covered more area, at least enough to stop my kids disowning me.

The day came and the second mankini arrived. I was at home alone and thought I would try it on, drawing the curtains first of course! Pulling each leg into the costume and wriggling to fit into this skin tight death trap I eventually looked like something from a dodgy Anne Summers party.

Once I adjusted the contraption correctly the full horror of the upcoming event hit me. The designer had thoughtfully fitted a codpiece on the front (well things have to fit somewhere!). Unfortunately the designer was obviously leaning towards his/her fetish side and decided it was best that this part should be lifted up and out at a 90 degree angle from the wearers body. And please remember, those of you that are old enough to, that this is not a codpiece in the style of the great Cameo’s hit ‘Word Up’, this is skin tight flimsy leather look latex.

At this point Anne arrived back home wondering why the curtains were shut during the afternoon to find me modelling the latest soho bondage gear (at least I had spat out the cricket ball and lost the gimp mask). Since then a modification to the costume was made to try and make it at least a little respectful for a family show. Unfortunately this had the adverse effect of me looking more like a Brazilian ladyboy and had to be restored to the original look.

In short, anyone that wants to see a fat middle aged man in a skin tight, leather look, latex mankini... needs to have their head examined. However a promise is a promise and I have run out of time to find anything else and we have to go with what we have!

**** /UPDATE ****

As some of you know, my eldest daughter has cerebral palsy. She attended Ingfield Manor School from the age of 5 to 10. The school is amazing and need all the support they can get!

Ingfield Manor School is acknowledged as one of the leading centres for Conductive Education in the UK. It has national reputation for the development of communication work with disabled children.

If I reach my £2000 target I will do the walk in a mankini but please don't let this put you off as you don't have to see the pictures :)

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