Story
Jay loved all animals and children and they all gravitated towards him, I remember one day he went to the shops and when he came back home instead of coming in he knocked at the door, I thought that's strange, so I opened the door and there was Jay and standing next to him a big beautiful tabby cat,
the cat had followed him home, Jay said hi mam this is Fred can he
come in? Fred ended up being a girl and became Jay's comfort. Jay's
girlfriend said that whenever they went for a walk he would name every cat or
dog they passed. On the day of Jay's funeral, she lay across the drive and
would not let the undertakers carry Jay's coffin to the hearse.
Throughout all the tragic hard times and upset in Jay's short life, he could
always rely on and find comfort in animals and it upset him to see them
suffer.
Jay began life fighting, he was premature and in an incubator for 7 weeks, he endured at 3lbs constant collapsed veins from the drips. At the age of 6 his father
abandoned him that man never bothered, no birthday card, no Christmas card and no child support EVER....on Jay's 21st birthday, he contacted Jay... it didn't
go as Jay hoped and this affected Jay's mental health. Jay was happy when he
was a little boy and when he left primary school and began his next step at
high school his mental health issues began, he is the first born grandchild and
nephew in our family and his uncle was loved by most but unfortunately a few
where not fans and as a small 12 year old thrust into a new environment, Jay
was targeted and bullied beyond words. He developed anorexia and would not eat or even drink and I took my son to A & E and was sent away, told to just
give him a drink... a day later I carried the limp skin and bones of my 12 year
old directly into the children ward, he was so thin and so cold they could not even
get blood. At this time Jay's OCD surfaced along with depression, anxiety and self-harm.
He began the remainder of his childhood working with the child and family unit
and was taken into a residential children's unit for mental health illness. He
was put on anti-depressants and was the youngest child in this country to be
given prozac, to which he seizured and then the test began for damage to his
brain and heart. At 16 he was considered an adult and the service stopped. He
was ambitious and talented and very very intelligent, he went to college to do
his A levels but the OCD and depression took a hold massively and the support
from the system was not there. He dropped out and we contacted the mental health services, he was put on a waiting list..... Jay was left hanging and having to deal with his mental health illness himself. Jay's OCD triggered a devastating condition of Intrusive Thoughts. It wasn’t that everything has to be neat and tidy, these intrusive thoughts meant he believed he couldn’t blink, or even go to get a glass or water without being wracked with a fear something terrible would happen. He couldn’t function without these destructive thoughts tormenting him and he couldn’t escape from them. It left him anguished and anxious – it caused him pain as it was like a constant, mental torture that impacted on every part of his life. Jay started to self-medicate just to escape the pain. The past 2
years Jay has been let down by the system, the services have passed him back
and forward and he has been left broken and fractured, Mental health would not
help him and he has self-medicated with prescription pain killers, he has
begged the drug and alcohol services to help with the devastating and agonizing
pain from withdrawals from pain killers and they would not help as they
considered him not to be an addict. Just 5 weeks before he passed, Jay begged
to be sectioned as he could not live with the pain and he thought about the
Tyne Bridge as a solution, he was told no as he was inappropriate and he needed
a detox programme from pain killers. By accident we also found out that over a
year ago Jay was considered to have Bi-polar, this was never followed up and he
was never given treatment for this and to make things worse his anti depressants don't work for bipolar. He cried in my arms every night. The drug and alchohol services said no, he was not an addict, they give Jay paracetamol for the pain and something for the stomach cramps. This was 10 days before he passed. The week Jay passed I took Jay back to the Doctors for the millionth time as his anxiety, depression and self harm had gotten worse and saw a different doctor who informed us that the medication Jay was taken where ineffective as the dosage was not an adults dosage. Jay was left completely broken and I could see he lost all hope that he would ever be given any help from any doctor, professional or service. He was left to just get on with it.
Throughout all of this tragic time the only comfort Jay got was from animals, especially his cat's firstly we had Waffles and Toffles, two tabby males which we got from the animal shelter who became very much loved and who gave love back, Waffles and Toffles lived a very long time and now they with Jay in the beautiful place. We then took in a little kitten which could not be cared for anymore, Ruby a beautiful black and white little girl. Then came Fred, who followed Jay home and now we also have Mr D'Arcy.
On the day Jay passed a letter arrived from mental health services inviting him to an assessment. I just felt anger, that it was too little too late, he's been having
assessments since he was 12 years old. Every day I spent with my boy in the
Chapel of rest before his funeral and the day before I brought him home so I could hold his hand all night and talk to him. My heart is fractured and broken but at least I get peace in knowing that my beautiful wonderful boy in not fractured or broken anymore.
You belong in my arms and until I am able to be with you darling you will be in my
heart forever. Love you Jay and miss you every second. Shine on xxxxxx
Please sign the petition to make
changes to the Mental Health Act so that we may try and stop this happening to
another young person.
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/en-gb/738/550/567/
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