In May my dad was diagnosed with Hepatocellular Carcinoma, a rare form of Primary Liver Cancer in which only around 100 people in the UK are diagnosed with. As you can probably imagine it has turned myself and my Mum and Dad's lives upside down and we have had to really pull together and be there for each other more than ever, and I'm so proud of both of them for the courage they've shown.

Back in February, I decided I wanted to walk the Camino de Santiago this September (a 730 km walk from Saint Jean Pied de Port to Santiago de Compostela in the North West of Spain) and I had no real reason as to why. Was I bored of my crappy job? Did I want to give myself a real physical and mental challenge? Was I just being plain fucking stupid? I couldn't quite articulate or give a reason as to why this walk appealed to me so much, all I could think about was that it meant a profound amount to me that I go out there and do it.

In the 3 months that followed, my Grandfather passed away and my Dad was diagnosed, and for a while it was really difficult for me to accept this. I think that people deal with things in different ways, some people let their emotions take over, refusing to accept the news and wish things weren't as they were, some people put a barrier up and refuse to talk about how they are feeling and others just get on with it and try to be as brave as possible. Personally, I feel all of these methods are a just reaction, coping with this kind of news is something no one should have to go through, but I was somewhere in the middle of putting up a barrier and trying to be brave and accept what has happened frankly as a coping method. 

With all this in mind, I couldn't help but think previously about how I tried to rationalise my wanting to walk the Camino de Santiago, and that now my reason was staring me right in the face - to use the journey as a (this is lame) 'spiritual awakening' of sorts to come to terms with my Father's illness, and raise some money at the same time.

I still find it very difficult to express how I feel about all of this, and I don't think I'll ever be able to truly accept it, but I want to do my bit on a larger scale for this illness, and make my Dad proud while I'm at it.

Buen Camino.