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2015 is going to be a big year for me. In December 2015 it will be the 10th anniversary of my brother, Peter's, death from alcoholism. To mark the occasion of his passing, I will be spending the whole year trying to raise money to help people like Peter. Peter was my older brother, 17 years older than me. He came from a family that loved him. I loved him and I still do. So this is his story, our story, about how I came to this point in my life and decided to embark on a year of sobriety.

From as far back as I can remember Peter was "a drinker". In the early years it just seemed like part of him, not all of him. He still held down a job and maintained a life with his young family. He was a good brother to me. The first holiday of my life was with my big brother Peter and his wife and kids (thanks Nip x). Life was good. Before I was a teenager and before Peter was 30 years old, his life was beginning to unravel as alcoholism took a grip. He lost his job, he lost his lovely little family. He lost his good name as he became involved in petty crime and went to prison, and his friends began to distance themselves from him. The dynamics of our family also changed. My mother was so worried about him and the direction his life was taking, Peter became less and less my big brother and more and more dependent on me. He became embarrassing to be around, his behaviour was difficult to predict and I couldn't rely on him anymore, no one could. His life continued on a freefall to the bottom. Months would go by without any contact, then he would just appear back in my life, always with a story, always with something he needed. Over a period of years it broke my mothers heart. It broke all of our hearts. In September 2000, our mother died very suddenly. That marked the final chapter of his decline. We tried very hard to release him from the tight grip that alcohol had on him.  Now and again we would see a glimmer of hope, a brief glimpse of the man he once was. Rehab never seemed to last. He would be desperate during a crisis but then deny the problem once it was over. I cried so so much for him, for me, for all of our family. I used to think about how his life would be cut short, worry about the terrible circumstances that might be his death. In the end, I didn't even see it coming. It happened on a random Monday evening. He was 49 years old.  3 months later, on his 50th birthday me and my sister scattered his ashes. It all seemed like such a waste. I don't want any other family to suffer the way that we did, the way my brother did. But they do.

I think about Peter, everyday. I think about my lovely big brother and how his life was blighted by addiction. I think about the life he would have had without alcohol. 

10 years is a lot of life to have missed out on, a lot of people he never met. To mark the anniversary I wanted to do something to help people like Peter, families like ours. So I'm giving up. It won't be anywhere near the struggle of someone with an addiction, it doesn't even compare, but it will still be difficult. Alcohol plays such a large part in our culture, how we celebrate, how we be happy, how we be sad. I'm giving it up for a whole year. It will be a year of parties, holidays, birthdays, bbq's, crap days at work and all the other reasons to drink. I'm doing it for my brother Nipper, and for the other families that feel like mine.

Alcohol concern is a charity that is trying to challenge the drinking culture in our country. It helps individuals and trains professionals to alter the way we think about alcohol. In particular it helps young people to think about the ways they use alcohol and the effect it has on them, now and in the future.

Thank you so much for your support. I appreciate every pound that you donate to this worthwhile cause.  Tracy x